From Pig to Guinea Pig: My Solo Travel Experiment

What really happens when you book a group tour alone

THE DAY I TOOK PART IN AN EXPERIMENT

I’m putting myself forward to take part in a social experiment.

I’m going to be a guinea pig.

It’s slightly ironic, really. I spent 15 years in another industry where I was often referred to as a ‘pig’ or ‘dog’. I always found it amusing to be standing at the front door of a house while some small child shouted over their shoulder, “Muuuum, the pigs are here!”

I’m not sure whether it’s progress or not to go from pig to guinea pig, but nonetheless, here we are.

THE BACKGROUND

In my local town, I run a hiking group. I post a date, time and place on social media, say where I’m walking, and anyone is welcome to join me. The only provisos are that you can walk at a reasonable pace for an hour or so, and you have a sense of humour.

And people turn up.

Some are regulars who love nothing more than a walk and a chat. Others bring an offspring, or bring a friend. Some come to discover new walks. And some step well outside their comfort zone and turn up alone.

After one walk, someone said to me,

“It’s not just a walk you’re offering. It’s social connection.”

And he was right.

I’m not offering anything people can’t do themselves. It’s about doing something you enjoy, with others.

It’s the ones who turn up alone that intrigue me most. I really appreciate the effort it takes to walk up to a group of strangers and say hello. Most of us are very comfortable staying exactly where we are.

LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

When I’m not leading local hikes, I work in the travel industry as both a tour host and a travel agent.

I have a great job.

What I am noticing is, an increasing number of people who want to travel, but, like the people who turn up on my walks alone, they don’t necessarily have anyone to travel with.

It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have a partner, or they haven’t got friends. It just means they don’t have someone available who wants to do the same thing as they do. 

And so, the question kept circling back to me.

What is it actually like to travel alone, or with a group of strangers?

THE EXPERIMENT

To be honest, I didn’t know. I’d always travelled with family or friends.

So, I booked myself onto a tour. Alone.

Goodbye comfort zone.

Ironically, when I send other people on holidays, I do ridiculous amounts of research to make sure the trip and the client are a perfect match. For myself? I picked a destination I hadn’t been to before (North Island, New Zealand), a timeframe, and a price that suited me.

It was also about going a week without teenagers sighing and rolling their eyes behind their devices when I tried to communicate with them.

A week without having to cook unappreciated meals.

A week where I am asked, what ‘I’ would like to do. 

Take. My. Money. Now.

The “now” part may have been my undoing.

LAST-MINUTE JITTERS

It was a couple of days before departure that I started to read the itinerary properly.

Oh, my wordy, what was I thinking. 

There was hiking (that was fine) but also cycling, canoeing, mud pools and traditional Maori greetings.

Cycling and canoeing – that’s so not me!

Mud pools – the thought made me wince! 

As for rubbing noses with strangers – a firm handshake is more my style!

The itinerary said the accommodation was going to be basic, with occasional mixed-gender dorm rooms, and it was advisable to take my own soap and towel, as these were not always provided.  What the . . .

It was then that the anxiety kicked in, it appeared I had booked on one of those active adventures for 18-30-year-olds.

I am old enough to have kids that age, for goodness’ sake!

There was no turning back. <<insert expletive here>>

A friend summed it up perfectly when I told him my concerns:

‘Great, this is exactly the concerns I, as a solo traveller, would have; wondering about the people I’m going to be travelling with, will I fit in!’

I knew I could call the company and ask about the group demographics, but this was a social experiment. Too much information might taint the results.

It was going to be okay. Or so I kept telling myself.

TIME TO FACE MY FEARS

I arrived in Auckland and checked into the hotel where the tour was meeting. It looked a little seedy, but my room had two beds and an ensuite. Not luxury, but not backpacker dorm either.

My roommate had already arrived. Her suitcase had an LAX tag. There was a small denim jacket, a hairbrush, and a large make-up bag on the bed.

I deduced she was a petite, well-groomed American teenager.

This poor girl, stuck with the “old woman” of the group.

What have I done?

At 6.00pm it was time for the group meeting.

Outside the door, I hesitated, held my breath, closed my eyes, and opened the door. The next few moments seemed to go in slow motion, it felt like I was having one of those out-of-body experiences.

On opening my eyes, the first person I saw was a young bloke in his early 20s, I gave a silent groan as I released my breath. Planting a false smile on my face I walked towards him, trying desperately to give an air of self-confidence.

It may have fooled him.

I introduced myself and asked what I was meant to be doing; my self-confidence was blown.

He told me he was the guide, and the group was the other side of the room, behind me, and I was to go over and introduce myself to them.

LEAP OF FAITH

Just as I started to turn to face the group, again in slow motion, he leaned towards me and sort of whispered,

‘By the way, I’m the youngest person here.’

Which completely threw me, my body was still slowly turning towards the group, but my eyes were still fixed on this young lad, trying to make sense of what he had just said, searching his face for clues, reassurance.

How could he be the youngest? In my mind, they were all going to be 18-year-olds.

The slow-motion stopped and we went back to normal speed. The noise of the group’s chatter hit me, I quickly scanned the group, my eyes darted from person to person.

Then, before taking a step towards them, I leaned back to the young guy and whispered,

‘I think I might be the second youngest!’

He giggled. He was as nervous as I was.

There are no words to describe how relieved I was, these people were my age, some were older, some were younger. I felt like my nightmare had just become a dream; I was going to be okay.

There were 16 in the group, two Americans, six Canadians, two Indians, two Swiss, an Englishman, Irishwoman and Scot (sounds like the start of a joke) and me.

In the group six of us were travelling alone, I wasn’t quite the big, brave solo traveller I thought I was!

Well, I was, but so were they.

MY ROOMIE

My roommate was not an American teenager, but rather a 40 something, attractive, stylish, Canadian high school teacher.

She told me she’d been travelling on her own for years and had only just discovered the small-group style of travelling and admitting she regretted not finding this mode of travel years earlier.

For her as a single female, it was fantastic as she has got to meet some great people and made lifelong friends.  She also got to discover places she would struggle to find herself without weeks researching the destinations. Most importantly, it was safe.

She leads a very busy life, running a successful fashion business in addition to her teaching, so she was more than happy to let someone else take the reins and tell her each day where she needed to be and what she’d be doing.

The chance to switch off and really connect with the people and places suited her perfectly.

I spoke with a 60-year-old Englishman, this type of holiday was not something his wife would enjoy, so he travels alone. He can travel and keep in close contact with his family back home. He’s happy, his wife is happy too.

It was early days, but so far so good. At this stage, I believed, it was going to be okay.

WHAT I LEARNED

Small-group travel is the perfect fit for people who want connection without the pressure of doing everything alone.

But it matters who you travel with, and who you book through.

If you want to go on a tour, pick one that suits your needs, budget and equally as important their company values match your own. 

Ask your travel agent and friends what they know about the company. Check out reviews and scan their website beyond just the tour you are doing.  Do they care about sustainability, do they care about the communities you are visiting or is it just a ‘bring and brag’ set up? 

I didn’t do anywhere near the amount of research I would normally do for a client when booking this tour.  However, I used a tour company who I knew well, their company values aligned with mine and the price and timing worked perfectly.  I was in. 

USE A TRAVEL AGENT WHO LISTENS TO YOU

I was chatting to a couple of girls at the airport, they were fun, fit, independent girls around 30 years of age.  Last year they wanted to go to NZ and their travel agent sent them on a coach tour.  My jaw nearly hit the ground; it was not rocket science to know this was not the ideal holiday for them.  They came home frustrated.

A good travel agent should listen to what you are looking for, keep within your budget and find something that will suit your needs/interests. 

BE YOURSELF

If you’re travelling alone, nobody knows you, they have no preconceived ideas of who or what you are, they judge you purely on what they see. This is your chance to really be yourself or the self you want to be.

Our tour guide gave a perfect example of this, he had to be confident, firm and fair, this is not easy when you are the youngest person in the group.

He told me his schoolteachers would never believe it if they saw him now.  As a child, he was painfully quiet and shy, and this continued into young adulthood.

In his early 20s he went on a six-week tour of SE Asia, taking himself completely out of his comfort zone.  He was tired of being the shy one; he believed he missed out due to his lack of confidence.

However, on this tour, no-one knew him, no-one was going to judge him or question him if he wasn’t being the same shy person he’d always been.  In those six weeks, he taught himself, or forced himself, to be confident and out-going.  He formed new habits; he shed his shackles of shyness and flourished into the confident young man who now, took control of our group.

So, be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

CHOOSE TO FIT IN

I use the word ‘choose’ mindfully.

Probably of most concern to a solo traveller is ‘will I fit in?’ 

There are always the concern others on the tour will form their own groups and you are left a bit stranded.

If you are travelling as a couple, you always have each other as a backup, but if you are on your own, you have no one to turn to if the group doesn’t gel.

Before departure, doubts may run through your mind.  The easiest way to alleviate this fear is to ask the tour operator or travel agent about the basic demographics of the group.  They can do this for you.  They can give you an idea on gender split, rough ages of the group and how many other solo travellers there are – don’t ever assume you’ll be the only one.

Your holiday destination might be fantastic but fitting in with the group is going to help you enjoy your time even more. No one can guarantee you a good time – a lot of it depends on your attitude, hence I use the word, ‘choose’ to fit in. 

And remember there is often (if not always) that one person in each group who needs to grumble, they are determined to find the negative and therefore unable to enjoy themselves. 

If you remember nothing else, remember just this . . .

DON’T BE THAT PERSON!

Written by: Suzanne Holden